“ Who we are looking for is who is looking
05.26.12 ♥ 0
Suppressing dreaming.
There’s a single freedom in it.
I’m that flying swallow marked on her back.
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How to hate myself.
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The Spanish in your voice.
Big brown eyes.
How the crazy in me would scare the man in him.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+ Sensitivity.
+ There’s so much I don’t have the energy to care about these days.
+ OK.
+ Maybe it’s a good thing to be building walls again.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Self-respect. Self-esteem.
‘I believe myself then deceive myself’
All of this just to degrade myself?
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How to forget…
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“I offend myself then avenge myself
And pretend it helps to defend myself
I believe myself then deceive myself
To retrieve myself I don’t need my help
Whether the brave myself or slave myself
It’s strange every day I’m not the same myself
I love myself then I hate myself”
Super Moon over Lahore - magical moment in a magical city.
— Barbara De Angelis (via flimzy)
I’m nostalgic for the hands which never intertwined and the cheeks never blushing and feelings never understood. but mostly for the love we never shared. I’ve taken up falling in love with rivers and mountains and other beautiful things because we can never find each other. I catch you in yesterdays sunlight and in the train fares I can’t afford. you’re sleeping without me and my dreams have exploded with the words written about you hidden underneath my bed.
— Chuck Palahniuk (via thefreenomad, phoenizx)
— Sam Stevens (via thefreenomad)
I rose up. Now I’m drowning again. But its a different kind. Not the abyss. Nor the black hole. I’m more grounded than I’ve been for a while. Stable. But this life just has a way of shooting things your way all at once.
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STRESS.
Its all piling up. I can handle the academic stuff. Just about. Its all the ‘other’ things that can push me.
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The past 10months have been challenging to say the least. So much has happened. Bouts of physical deterioration and frequent hospital visits. That’s been a first. Along with a lot of things. Its made me realise the urgency of things. How to value good health when its there. Who knows what will happen next?
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Triggers.
I’ve learnt that the cold sets off my asthma (which somehow has decided to pay me a visit after all these years I don’t know why). Now I’m learning stress sets it off more.
She apparently has a condition which means her whole body feels like breaking some days.
Tumour on her liver. Benign. A ball of blood vessels, risk of rupturing?
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You can’t compartmentalise this kind of stuff. I can fight battle after battle but this seems like war. Its all fucking stressful. And it all fucking adds up.
I will cultivate our love into this freedom… - via someonesomewhere
— Ram Dass (via thefreenomad)
